Alan Gillies' House of Music
You Are Here
HOOTERS GIRL
words & music by Alan Gillies
She brings me beer while I watch sports on TV,
the way that God intended it to be,
I love... my Hooters Girl.

She never asks me where I'm gonna be,
'cause I'm already there as she can see,
I love... my Hooters Girl.

Strips, naked, more than a mouthful,
Hot enough that she could melt the South Pole,
I love... my Hooters Girl.

Never complains when my friends stay for the game,
or when I don't even remember her name,
I love... my Hooters Girl.

And never worries 'bout when I'm coming back,
she knows I'll be there soon as I need a snack,
I love... my Hooters Girl.

Strips, naked, more than a mouthful,
Hot enough that she could melt the South Pole,
I love... my Hooters Girl.

Cheesecake, legs, I love her pie,
I don't ever wanna say goodbye,
and everything's gravy after that...

So hot, she makes my mouth water,
don't wanna think that she's someone else's daughter,
I love... my Hooters Girl.

Strips, naked, more than a mouthful,
Hot enough that she could melt the South Pole,
I love... my Hooters Girl.
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NOTES

People either love this song, or they hate it, but either way it's usually because they don't understand it.
And so, we're always explaining i
t.
IRONY.
Tongue-in-cheek, not-meant-to-be-taken-literally, humouro
us irony.
Because in the early days people heard the name
HOOTERS and thought it must be a strip club,
possibly because a few years earlier there actually had been a bar in
North Main with the same name.
The actual
HOOTERS are merely a chain of sports-loving family restaurants.
In the
11 years that I've been going to the HOOTERS in Winnipeg,
the only bare breasts I've ever seen were soon covered in batter, deep-fried,
and served to me on a plate with ranch dressing & curly fries.
I-R-O-N-Y.
So get over it already, you psycho-dyko
feminazis, and give Pete Rose back his hair-do.
(Me and my big mouth, I had to say it, and now I just know I'm going to get more letters, I just know it.)